In the earliest days of Citrix, Rich Andresen put together a joke quiz related to events at Citrix at that time. Citrix was less than a year old and was still struggling to find a market. Multiuser had not caught on like the employees had expected.
The quiz might have been updated in 1991 due to some references to Comdex. There are many questions and answers that I don’t understand simply because I wasn’t there in the beginning.
This is document I do not want lost so I figured it would be great to post it. Perhaps someone out there will find it interesting and even potentially amusing. I still like question 44. I’ve added last names to help identify people. If you want the original employee list, please look at this earlier post.
Citrix Trivia Quiz (5/29/90)
1. Q: What groups is refered to as “them” and “us”?
A: Them == Marketing, Us == development unless your in marketing then it’s the other way around.
2. Q: Where is Jeffs [Krantz] T-connector?
A: It was lost in the 1st move never to be found.
3. Q: Who coined such popular phrases as “Rock and Roll” and “Kick Ass”?
A: The man with the monkey on his back and a puppy in his lap sitting at 50,000 feet.
4. Q: Who won the “1st wave” office lottery?
A: Scott [Kinnear].
5. Q: Who won the “2nd wave” office lottery?
A: Chris [Lehman].
6. Q: Who won the “1st move senior engineer” office lottery?
A: Ann [Mizel].
7. Q: Who won the “1st move junior engineer” office lottery?
A: Edj [Janeczek].
8. Q: Who broke the 1st build?
A: The build has never been broken.
9. Q: Who was our 1st customer?
10. Q: How many Mum “test bays” are there?
11. Q: Who is the mayor of Spoolerville?
A: Mark [Blackledge].
12. Q: How many CEO candidates have there been?
A: Too many to count.
13. Q: How did the Citrix logo get the upside down “i”?
A: It was done by mistake by the printers and we didn’t have time to get them fixed, so we stuck with it.
14. Q: Who presented the 1st (and last) foil at a company meeting?
15. Q: Where are the fire extinguishers located on the Citrix floor.
A: Ask Bob [Williams].
16. Q: What is the speed limit when going through Spoolerville?
A: 15 mph.
17. Q: Who formated Jeff’s [Krantz] test machine?
A: A bug.
18. Q: What is the company moto?
A: We’re all in this together so kick ass and rock and roll.
19. Q: How many minutes does it take for the Citrix employees to go through a one pound can of honey roasted peanuts?
A: Ask Ina [Blum] and Susan.
20. Q: Who answers the phone at Citrix.
A: No one.
Citrix Spring COMDEX Trivia Questions
21. Q: How many people came to the first Citrix spring COMDEX demo?
22. Q: How many people came to the last Citrix spring COMDEX demo?
23. Q: What was the first question asked at a Citrix demo and who asked it?
A: Does this run on a 286 machine? …. Randy [Wood].
24. Q: What significant event happened 5 miles south of Atlanta?
A: The drugs[painkillers] kicked in.
25. Q: Who filled Wendi’s [Bernath] purse with sand at the “Sand Bar”?
26. Q: What is a Citrix and do we support Textronic terminals?
A: Ask Glen [Hamblin].
Citrix Trivia Questions
27. Q: What has been in Jeff’s [Krantz] test bay desk draw for about 9 months?
A: Beer bottles…. I thought Jeff didn’t drink!
28. Q: How many re-orgs has marketing had?
A: How many ways can you re-arrange 5 people!
29. Q: How many receptionists has Citrix had?
A: 4, there names are receptionist 1, receptionist 2, receptionist 3, and Franciene.
30. Q: What was the lowest point in Glen Hamlin’s career?
A: Friday, October 5, 1990. Eye withnesses said it was the most silent and loudest day ever.
31. Q: How much is the Red, White, Green, and Yellow worth on Marks [Blackledge] dartboard?
A: Red=20, White=15, Green=10, Yellow=5 as decreed by the mayor.
32. Q: Who was our 1st customer?
A: (see Question 9)
33. Q: What is a mintue?
A: A new time unit patented by Citrix, used in measuring MULTIUSER installation time.
34. Q: What is Alfer?
A: July: Ofer
35. Q: What did Randall L. Wood say when he signed the historic Citrix/MS Contract?
A: “Thank God”.
36. Q: How much is a share of Citrix stock worth?
A: $2.50….., $2.00….., $1.50….., No one knows.
37. Q: What set a industry record for the fastest agreement ever?
A: Contrary to the belief that it was the Citrix/IMD agreement it was actually the agreement between the Shaw of TPSS and the King of security (“The King”), on who was going to “do semaphores” for TPSS. It took less than a mintue. In comparason it would have taken 20 IBM managers 3 months.
38. Q: What was the worst build ever?
A: The 1.35, …, wait a mintue, Mike [Hynes], did you say that 1.36 is done. OK I’m back, ….. the worst build ever was 1.36.
39. Q: What day is Cinnibon day?
40. Q: What is the cost of getting into the “Quick Start” program?
A: $2000, …$995, ….$100, …. ahhhh just forget it.
41. Q: Who broke the Last build?
A: (see question 8)
42. Q: What month preceeds January.
43. Q: What is the toughest decision for a Citrix Engineer.
A: Where to goto lunch.
44. Q: Why will we be successfull?
A: Because we’re Citrix and they ain’t. (G4)
My son pointed this web site out to me today. It’s good to see you’re still around. I hope everything is going well.
I was looking for old college buddies from VA Tech and thought I would look up Rich. Its been a looooong time since we saw each other. Just wanted to tell him Hi and send him a hello from an old ZBT little sister. I am not sure of his email so I thought maybe he would see this here. Thanks!